If I ever become a wife, I know that according to God's perfect commands, I must submit to my husband. It's a perfect plan, but I've heard that it's harder than one might think! Sure, submission is easy when the husband's telling the wife to do something that she wanted to do anyway. But her submission is truly tested when she has to submit her will when she actually had something else in mind. Definitely a growing experience.Since I'm not married, I'm off the hook, right? I'm free, with nobody to submit to? Not quite! For one thing, we always must submit to God. But in this period (whether it be temporary or permanent) of singlenss, I need to "practice" submitting to the authorities that God has placed in my life.
For me, that is primarily my mother. I am a grown woman, I have a good job and pay for my own expenses, and I even pay rent to her (to cover the expenses that I create and to contribute to the household income). Many would say that I have "earned" the right to do whatever I want.
But that is not what God would say! First of all, He has commanded us to honor our parents. Also, my mother does not ask much of me. She totally respects my adult status and does not treat me like a child at all. She is also very selfless; when my job keeps me busy with preparing/grading/going to events/etc., she takes care of things around the house so that I can get my work done. She really is the sweetest thing!
When there is something that she wants from me, I really should do it. First of all, it is only right that I contribute to the household chores at least as much as she does, if not more. It would be highly immature, to say the least, if I were to say "I'm old enough to do my own thing" and then go off while she cleans up messes that I helped make. So to not help her when she asks, or to not respect her opinions, would be highly disrespectful and unappreciative.
Aside from submitting when she asks me to do a certain task, I also need to submit to her wishes in other areas. If there were a guy that she did not think I should date, for example, I would definitely not date him. God has given us authority as our protection, and I would be foolish to step out from under that umbrella.
Another aspect of submission is submitting to what you know the other person wishes, even if the person has not actually verbally stated the request. I need to anticipate what she wants me to do so that she does not feel the need to ask me over and over, or even at all.
So to "practice" submitting to my future husband, I have been working on submitting to my mother. I have really become conscious of how lazy and selfish I really am! For example, tonight she and I were cleaning up the kitchen. I was washing dishes, and there was one big pot left to wash. I was not in the mood to wash it, and I took a break from cleaning for a few minutes. Now, I know that she does not like seeing a mess in the kitchen. I know that if I do not do my part, she will clean it just to get it done. However, I still walked away and took a break before I was done. When I came back, she had washed the pot. I should have done that! She is so much older and has a bad back; why should she have had to lift and deal with that big, heavy thing? I had not disobeyed something that she had said; however, I was selfish and did not submit to the wish that I know that she had. To avoid nagging me, she just did it herself.
Whan an unprofitable wife I would be if I did that sort of thing to my husband. I do realize that the mother/daughter relationship is not the same as the husband/wife relationship, but my selfishness is selfishness no matter what.
Here are some points that I have been learning about submission:
1. Submission is not easy, because I am selfish. I must ask God to help me get the victory over my selfishness and laziness now, so that if I ever become a wife, I will not have to learn my lesson at my husband's expense.
2. Submission goes beyond obedience. For example, I must strive to have the correct willing and joyful spirit while submitting.
3. I need to submit without having to be told to. If I know my husband likes to have dinner ready when he comes home from work, I need to do that every day without his calling home to remind me in the middle of the day.
4. Submission is something that we must think about constantly, because it does not come naturally! I have to work on thinking, What would help her right now? Is seeing me sitting here reading a book going to annoy her, because she is doing housework? and then make the decision to get up and spend my time doing whatever would please her, not what would please me. Always be thinking about what the other person would like.
5. Don't do things that you know the other person doesn't like. For example, I am going to finish this post now, because it is late, and I know that she prefers for me to not stay up until all hours so that I am wiped out the next day. I'm going to listen to my own advice and submit! :-D
6 comments:
You are right that sometimes submission to a husband is something that we must decide to do whether we want to or not, but the only thing I see missing from your post is...
it can be an absolute JOY to submit to the man you love!!!!! Wait and see!
Thank you for bringing that up, Brenda. I am sure that it is! I will love having someone to follow, a good leader to submit to. It must be wonderful to be under his care.
...pretty good post (it seems like you've stopped for a while though- a shame). To comment briefly;
-Yeah, I personally think the prevailing culture around us makes it very difficult to properly appreciate what our parents do for us, and fully reciprocate it (as you do), and respect your parents (and others who deserve our respect). One really has to work hard to put things in proper perspective..
-About the mother disapproving of a boyfriend- I mean, some mothers (or fathers) are just looking to be isparaging, it would be totallt unreasonable at times to heed them in regards to a spouse who you know is good for you...no?
True, some parents can be unreasonably difficult. I know some like that. However, my mom is not like that. She truly has my best interests at heart. The only times she's actually steered me away from a guy I was seeing, later I looked back and realized how amazingly right she was.
In general, I would consider a parent's opinion to be of great importance. That is the authority that God has given us, and a parent is the one who has known us in ways that no others have.
The Bible promises that if we honor our father and mother, it will go well with us. That's a promise worth claiming! I feel that if a child is claiming that promise and honoring his parents, God will work it out somehow if it is meant to be. It would display a lack of faith to assume that it won't work out and try to do things the human way.
Think of Abraham and Hagar. How our world is a different place because he tried to work things out his own way instead of trusting and waiting on God!
"The Bible promises that if we honor our father and mother, it will go well with us. That's a promise worth claiming! I feel that if a child is claiming that promise and honoring his parents, God will work it out somehow if it is meant to be. It would display a lack of faith to assume that it won't work out and try to do things the human way."- hm. True be dat.
"Think of Abraham and Hagar. How our world is a different place because he tried to work things out his own way instead of trusting and waiting on God!"- What? That he kicked her out? What does that show us? (he was listening to his wife, no?)
God promised Abraham a son; since he couldn't imagine Sarah giving birth at her age, he lay with her handmaid Hagar, who gave birth to Ishmael, whose descendants have been not exactly been getting along with Abraham's legitimate descendants ever since.
Yeah, he was listening to his wife, but he is responsible for his own actions. Especially since he should have been the leader of his own home.
Abraham's immorality/polygamy with Hagar obviously was not God's plan. God had a great nation to make of him, and he could not wait to see what God was going to do so he tried it his own way with Hagar. He ended up at the very least causing some serious problems in his own home ("tent") which shows us that doing it his own way didn't work out too great. He robbed himself and his family of the perfection of God's intended blessing.
I would not want to fall into the same problem: to know what God *can* do but try to do it my own way instead. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not on thine own understanding." Why not see what God has planned instead of scrambling around messing things up with our sheep-like human ways?
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